WEEK OF SUCK.
I’m having THAT week. 😠
That frustrating week where there just seems to be something in the water (or perhaps Mercury is in the microwave again). Everyone around me is cancelling meetings, flaking on phone calls, forgetting to respond, re-arranging plans, and just generally being hard to nail down.
It’s like…”Duuuuuuuuudes. Get it together!” Le sigh.
But, in my wiser years, I have learned that when this happens it’s very VERY rarely personal. And because I know this, I always encourage my clients at the Wren Way to acknowledge when they are experiencing a similar scenario and take a couple of emotional steps back before telling themselves an unhelpful story about their intrinsic value.
Here are some solid steps you can take when a a good friend has been hard to find or your are stuck in a professional "NOBODY SHOWS UP FOR ME" cycle:
1. ACKNOWLEDGE FEELINGS: It's completely normal to feel hurt, frustrated, or even angry when someone disappoints us. So, recognize your feelings and accept them without judgment. Emotions that we lean into instead of pushing away tend to move through us faster.
2. EXERCISE INWARD COMPASSION: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend in a similar situation. Self-compassion involves being gentle with yourself during times of disappointment.
3. EMPLOY OUTWARD COMPASSION: Remind yourself that someone else's actions or behavior are not a reflection of your worth. People disappoint for various reasons that often have nothing to do with you and they may be dealing with challenges you cannot even imagine.
3. CREATE BOUNDARIES: If someone consistently disappoints you or undermines your self-worth, it may be necessary to reassess the relationship to protect your self-esteem.
4. WORK WITH YOUR BRAIN: Cultivate internal emotional self-regulation and self-validation. Recognize your own strengths, accomplishments, and values independent of external approval.
5. DON'T FORGET YOUR WORTH: When negative thoughts about your self-worth arise due to someone else's actions, challenge them with realistic and balanced perspectives. Remind yourself of your inherent value. Maybe even think back to a time when you felt highly valued. Sit in that joyful memory and let it wash over you.
By nurturing a strong sense of self, practicing self-care, and learning actionable tools to help with emotional regulation, you can navigate disappointments with resilience and, hopefully, a little humor.
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Jennifer Wren, founder of The Wren Way, is a Life and Leadership Coach who helps mid-life women stop feeling stuck and start having fun though the intentional practice of compassion, play, curiosity and aligned action.
