THE HLO PROBLEM
Being an entrepreneur is HARD.
From the challenge of launching new ideas for the Wren Way to the challenges of navigating setbacks, every day has brought me something different. It has required me to tap into my deep creativity, resilience, and a constant willingness to adapt.
But you know what's even harder? LISTENING. Listening to my heart. Listening to my mentors. Listening to my audience.
My year started out with a class in for my DISCUS Academy Leadership Program called “Active Listening and Processing Feedback.” Woooooh doggie, I did not realize how much growing I needed to do in the listening department.
But, in order to be adaptable, open, and successful, listening is truly our greatest super power. It takes focus, thoughtfulness, technique, and emotional regulation to be actively present and open to the messages we are receiving every day.
Many of my clients at The Wren Way are seeking opportunities to expand their careers, love lives, and creative endeavors but just can’t seem to thread that needle. In the early days, I will often work with them on the very unhelpful, but common habit of *checking out* or *waiting to answer* when someone is communicating with you.
I call it this problem "The Headphones of Lost Opportunity," because when you are only hearing your own familiar tune, you are missing out on symphonies of new connections and adventures.
An addiction to wearing the "HLOs," usually stems from a a set of internal beliefs that include:
"I always get rejected, so I will go ahead and expect that, prepare myself to feel down, and respond to be defensively.”
“Nobody ever listens to ME, so I will repeat myself, press my agenda forward, and insist on MY narrative no matter what.”
“I feel powerless to influence this person, so why bother paying attention? It’s a dead end anyway.”
“I am VERY important, already know all of things, and what I’m going to do anyway. Their perspective is a waste of my time.”
When this happens, it is so easy to miss when folks are sharing drops of insight, saying “YES!” to our proposals and ideas, or offering feedback that could revolutionize our ways of working.
Now back to entrepreneurship.
If I had not begun practicing the art of active listening, I would not know what the people I help are *asking* for. It would impossible to provide opportunities to help my current clients and serve my future audience. Furthermore, it would put me in a habitual cycle of telling myself a story about what they want instead of supplying help for their requests and needs.
At the end of the day, my job as a coach is to BE OF SERVICE. The more I listen, the better I serve.
So, take off those Headphones and start learning a new tune. Might just turn out to be your song of the year....
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Jennifer Wren, founder of The Wren Way, is a Life and Leadership Coach who helps mid-life women stop feeling stuck and start having fun though the intentional practice of compassion, play, curiosity and aligned action.
