STEADY AS SHE GOES.
Nobody knows who is going to win the US presidential election. Nobody knows what is going to happen in the Middle East in the next several weeks. In fact, no of us knows if this is going to be the best or worst day of our lives.
Woof.
Which brings me to the concept of general resilience. With the daily onslaught of uncertainty, how do we keep on keeping on?
The definition of resilience is "the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties, a toughness." (Based on my own experiences, I would add a certain *grit* that just keeps you going.)
Why then "general" resilience?
Because general resilience is NOT the steely-eyed resolve that you need when the Tower falls, the kind that's portrayed in epic films, or celebrated in the moment before the gold medal is won. No, it's calm, cool head required by Every Day People to navigate the Every Day.
Numerous studies tracking these Every Day People in high-stress, unpredictable professions - such as emergency room nurses - have concluded that teaching resilience skills had a lasting effect not only on the mental well-being of the individual, but on the overall effectiveness, efficiency, and success of their work. Additionally, this positive change was sustained over extended periods *regardless* of any sudden, unforeseen, or catastrophic occurrence during the observed time.
Studies have also shown the opposite: that a lack of active awareness of one's own knowledge, thoughts, feelings, and adaptive strategies can lead to a very unhelpful and messy fear response. In some situations, that could be deadly.
So, what can help build resilience in a highly unpredictable, super scary world?
I help my clients at The Wren Way build general resilience through teaching them to “think about thinking” and to apply gentle pattern disruption. It’s the kind of daily practice that can be built like a muscle. So, when the big stuff hits (good or bad), the groundwork is already in place to weather the storm.
We start with very small challenge that triggers a fear response (like speaking up in a meeting for the first time) and move through steps that help lower that fear response. They include:
1. Naming the emotion and acknowledging that they have encountered it before and survived.
2. Considering how they worked around that feeling in the past.
3. Setting a short-term goal of active pattern disruption that can include relaxation techniques, positive self-talk, or a thoughtful mantras.
4. Putting the pattern disruption into place by planning on when/where/how to do the small, scary thing.
5. Then, no matter the perceived success of “doing the scary thing," actively celebrate the effort they put in to disrupting the pattern.
Over time, much like any daily practice, they will be able to handle anything from a flat tire to a job loss with grace, resilience, and equanimity. And in times like these, we all could benefit from a steady hand.
******
Jennifer Wren, founder of The Wren Way, is a Life and Leadership Coach who helps mid-life women stop feeling stuck and start having fun though the intentional practice of compassion, play, curiosity and aligned action.